Dead [Women] Poets Society Blog

Caroline Bird 'resurrects' Anna Wickham

Updated: Apr 27

The Golden Age

A woman whose name escapes me

was my ultimate role model growing up.

What was her name? You know. You know

who I’m talking about. Whatsherface, with the hair.

Always wore a cravat. Spat olive pits

into a miniscule silver snuff box. You know.

Her catchphrase was “If it ain’t broke

I’m not interested.” You know who I mean.

Bombshell. Sang that famous song.

‘Forkful of Nothing’ with the Withering Brothers.

Paris. Lots of stuff to do with Paris. Starred

in that sexy movie with Sandra Bee Deloyne,

really controversial at the time, they played

cross-dressing gravediggers who both end up

pregnant by rival dictators. You know the one.

Coined the phrase ‘Nope.’

She was married to that gorgeous guy

who chopped his head off accidentally

whilst fixing a ceiling fan. Her father

burnt to death after throwing a Molotov cocktail

at a trampoline. Come on. She built the world’s most

impossible hedge maze, all her gardeners

disappeared. Had a tiny dog called Handbag,

kept her house keys in his stomach. In 1916

she met Lenin in a coffee shop in Zurich

and came up with the entire plan for Red October.